being open to hurt

Are you afraid of getting hurt?

Truth is, we all are. Always.
Even the happiest, most ancient couples alive on earth are afraid of getting hurt.

I heard about so many people who are afraid of getting hurt so they keep their heart protected, closed. This ends up as a pattern that doesn’t allow them to find beautiful and meaningful relationships.

Why do we close our hearts?

Because we have been hurt. SO. many. TIMES.. That our heart’s defense system is like “nah, we staying close forever, it’s safe” and it makes sense.. Nobody can blame a heart for wanting to close and protect.

But here is the dilemma: to have a beautiful & meaningful relationship you MUST open your heart.

Without an open heart, there are no risks involved in the connection.

Without risks involved, winning or losing feels the same.

Without something to win, we don’t have motivation to play our best.

Without playing our best, we don’t love to our best capacity.

And that is why, with a close heart you can’t truly love.

So what do we do?

We learn to let go of the panicky fear of getting hurt. We get to know pain, and strengthen our relationship to it. We learn to open our hearts even when it feels threatening, and even when we are in pain.

These are skills that take practice.

Remember: If there isn’t a risk of getting hurt, it isn’t even worth it.