Changing your past.

Re writing the stories-
because you are the boss of your life

Do you have an old pain or trauma that comes back to get you still after a while?

Are you judging yourself for the choices you made?

Do you have a story which you have told yourself in the past and keeps controlling your life today?

I certainly had many, but the most obvious were (and still are sometimes)

- Choosing to live in New Zealand came with lots of guilt for leaving my siblings & my parents hometown.

- Having decided to end three relationships made me feel like a heartbreaker.

I had told myself the stories of

“I am not a good sister/daughter because I have abandoned my family”

and

“I am such a bitch because I always break men’s hearts”.

Woofff that shet is heavy!

Heavier than what I dared to recognize.

Recently I had the chance to CHANGE THE STORY verbally by saying it outloud to someone I just had met.
It was SO GOOD for my mental health to put all sides of the story in one sentence.

How did I do it?

thought of the reasons why I am here in this country;
and the reasons why I broke up with all those men.

I thought of the underlying feelings of guilt not trying to vanish them, but rather trying to take power away from them by admitting they are real & they hold some true.

The re written story went something like this:

“Yes, I left home and in a way I did left my family & chose to create a life far away from them… however, I did this because I can be the best version of myself when I am in this country, and the best way to support my siblings and parents is by being my best self, being happy and pursuing my dreams”

AND

“Yes, I have ended three relationships but I was brave enough to make the call on something that wasn’t working; I am not responsible for their heart break”

I invite you to look at what stories you have going on right now, especially those stories that keep making you feel bad, guilty, shameful, not good enough.

And to RE-WRITE in a way that makes you feel empowered, honest and happy about your choices.

I find it important to re-write the story in a way that seems real to you.
If you blow off all heavy emotions all together & make sounds like a fairy tale you might not believe your own new story!

And to really cement it in: share your new story in the comments (or with your friends).

Much love, always
Juliana