ways to approach triggers

How to approach a trigger with your partner, my ways:

*grumpy face* I wanted to let you know that what you did/say trigger the shit out of me. I am still processing it & not sure why it triggered me so much. Can you help me untangle this?

Wow, that hurts. I think that this is connected to something that happened to me in the past, that’s why I am feeling so upset about it. I know this is not your fault, you are just being you in your own right.. But can we please find a way to address this so I don’t keep getting triggered when this happens?

You look a bit upset to me and I am worried that there is something I have done to upset you. Is that true? Can we talk about it? What do you need right now? *gotta believe their answer even if it doesn’t line up with your victim story at the time.

I am feeling quite sad/angry/jealous about what happened before and I need some reassurance that you still love me and that you are still IN.

I hate feeling this way & it won’t go away.. It’s all related to some past relationship trauma, it feels so fucking heavy. I think I need to switch back to the fun-me. What if we go on a walk/play a game/ watch some stand up?

Also valid for friendships, and family & co-workers. Anyone really.

What are your ways of dealing with triggers?