i invite you to close the tab

I used to cook and expect my significant others to wash the dishes, because that is fair.

I used to keep the record of who did the food shopping last, so I could make sure it was fair next time.

I used to keep track of how many favours people did to me, so I could be fair.

All along I thought I was being FAIR and fair equals “good”.

Do you identify?

It was only when I met my partner Tom that I heard the concept of keeping the “tab” open. And it was then that I realised how much energy I was pouring into keeping records of everything, and how it was leading me to resentment and self-serving. I had expectations of other people that they will also be making sure it is all fair. Guess what? Not everybody keeps records like I did!

Thanks to my partner sharing his values I found a better way to feel about all my relationships. And I wanted to share this with you, because it honestly changed my life.

It changed my focus from an “exchange” to a “service of love”.

I closed all my open tabs.. and now I don’t keep records anymore (or try to!)

Some days I cook AND I wash the dishes. Some days I drive around and pick up everyone in my car AND I buy coffees for my friends.

I can focus my life around what really matters, stop trying to be perfectly fair in everything I do. And I can now relax into following my feelings. Some days I don’t feel like doing anything at all, and it is so nice to not feel guilty when others are doing it for me.

RECEIVE - RECEIVE

I take great enjoyment in being an abundant woman who can provide love, service, comfort, food, time, energy, laughs and anything the moment requires for life to be amazing. I don’t expect anybody to do the same, it doesn’t matter. What matters is how I feel about my life and myself, and that I have people around me that backs me up when I don’t have anything to bring to the table.

So next time you are on the edge of saying “I do the shopping all the time!!!”.. Just think, why do you do it? Do you do it because you love to be of help, to provide for the family? Or did you get lost in keeping records?