I was addicted to options
My heroine journey started with being addicted to options.
Falling in love and then coming apart with the belief that they simply weren’t a match for each other, and the belief that there has to be someone out there that fits me better.
There was a missing ingredient in the way I thought about relationships.
I once went to India and while I was on a boat in the Ganges river at 5am, I expressed to my local guide that I felt sorry for those men and women who were washing bed sheets in the freezing river.
He responded something to me that rippled throughout my life as one of the wisest things I have ever heard. (No need for a spiritual zen guru when you have people who know struggle)
He said: “Don’t feel sorry for him. He’s happy. His father’s father washed sheets, and he knows that’s his life’s journey. He also knows his children will also wash sheets. There is no suffering when there is no option: you simply accept it”
The minute we have options, which we always do, arises the inevitable fate of not choosing one of them.
It’s hard to live knowing that you could have done anything but you simply can’t do it all.
I blame my relationship struggles to the addiction of proving myself that I had options.
Instead of committing to what I had chosen and giving things a -real- chance of thriving,
I would wonder in every single relationship I had…
“maybe there is a man out there who is more masculine than the one I am going out with right now…or maybe there is a man who is more handsome, eats healthier, makes me laugh more…”
We believe that FREEDOM comes from having all the options available and the ability to move from path A to path G in a moment… yet life has shown me otherwise.
Yes, we have options and that is a gift and our birthright and I am forever grateful for the option of divorce, choosing the right man for my life, and also changing my mind anytime I want.
But I also see the backsplash of these endless options.
Options and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) are the biggest struggles of my generation.
I’m here today to say to you that there is absolute bliss and freedom in commitment.
The gift of choosing to devote myself to one single option.