takes two to tango

I was the toxic one.

Years ago I had a relationship that showed me my deepest daemons. And it was I N S A N E 🤯

At the time I thought it was his fault: That he was the toxic one and that he simply brought up the worst in me.

Over the years, as I gained wisdom & I looked back a thousand times into those two years of turbulence,
I started to understand that the toxic one was ACTUALLY me. Yep.

It was ME the one who had co-dependency towards him: and I couldn’t stand any minute that he was away from me.

It was ME the one who wanted to change him so much that forgot why I even liked him in the first place.

It was ME the one who nagged, waned, cried and screamed horrible things at him.

It was ME the one who emotionally manipulated him.

I am not ashamed to admit this.
I am proud because I have come a long way, and because that chapter of my life was absolutely necessary.

I dived (against my will) into the depths of the darkest part of my psyche. 🌚

I was depressed. I felt lonely no matter what. I didn’t feel good about myself.
I was out of balance. I was out of ME.

I am sharing this today for two reasons:

First, I want to share the main thing I learned from this experience:

It takes two people to create a toxic relationship -

all the participants are getting something out of it.

Look DEEP: toxic relationships can be an addiction that you learned to have when you were young, and now you are unconsciously craving that chaos.😳